How Do You Do Your Nether Do?

So how do you wear your hair… down there? Whether it’s for religious reasons, practical logistical purposes or for your own style expression, pubic hair is something that we all handle in our own unique ways.

There are a few popular styles that we tend to run into. There’s the classic full bush, which is most affordable and painless, but might be a bit hindering if you’re going to be hanging out on the beach.

Then there’s the extreme opposite – the full wax (or full Brazilian as it’s sometimes referred to). While it’s initially smooth and admittedly somewhat of a novelty, it can be costly to keep up. And trends have changed over time. If you’ve ever watched 70s porn vs. current porn, you’ll notice how drastic the shift has been.

Some folks like a landing strip and some people fashion their lover’s initials. Some like to add a little colour and still others adorn their vajayjays with vajazzling. Nothin’ like some Swarovski crystals to lure a lover – after all, we know how difficult it is to get men to pay attention to pussy! The Sex Wonks absolutely adore this little gem (much as we also detest it), which would have us believe that vajazzling is the devil itself. Parents, hide your sons from the be-jeweled vaginas- they will ruin your life!

In some cultures, it is common practice to remove pubic hair, while in others – duringĀ  different periods in history – it was common practice for lovers to exchange it as tokens of affection (“here’s a lock for you, my love…”) There have also been various trends in depictions of pubic hair in art over the centuries.

As we’ve discussed in some our podcasts, particularly surrounding the alarming trend of vaginal and penile “enhancements” (read: putting your genitals under the knife), when it comes to pubic hair, it seems that porn (for all its merits) has done us all a great disservice. These days, the trend is for both men and women to shave it all off. The full monty. Some say they do this for “hygienic” reasons – that bacteria can get trapped, along with unseemly smells.

The catch-22 with this reasoning, however, is that Mother Nature gave us pubic hair exactly in order to protect our most delicate, sensitive areas from harmful bacteria and particles. As for the “smells” – as animals, nature also intended for us to be turned on by our natural scents. Pubic hair traps pheromones that attract us to each other. We’re not supposed to smell like flowers or food. We’re meant to smell like real live adult women and men. Women and men who, of course, bathe themselves and make efforts to stay clean, but human adult men and women, nonetheless. Which means that your genitalia should smell like either penis or vagina. This is what we’re hardwired to react to sexually. To connect us. If I’ve got my face down in a dude’s balls, or if I’m lovingly sucking on said balls, I don’t want to be tasting cologne. I want to be tasting cock. Hello? Is it only me?

I recently asked an acquaintance of mine what sort of pubic hair style he likes best on his woman. He said he prefers the “naked look…smooth is best” particularly when it comes to eating her out. Here’s another dilemma, folks. On the one hand, you can say that you like this look for logistical purposes – easier access, not getting hair in your mouth, etc. But at what point do we ask ourselves why we are so attracted to this “Barbie” ideal – the look that looks and feels like a child?

Merkin. I can’t tell you why this word throws me into fits of uncontrollable laughter. It just does. There’s something about the notion of a pubic wig that tickles me. It just seems hypocritical – why would you remove your own natural hair and replace it with fake pubic hair if the point is so that others don’t see your pubic hair? What? I know that it has historical significance in that in the days of yore – when pubic lice were more rampant and penicillin wasn’t around to treat various more obvious-by-sight STDs – it was common practice to get rid of the lot and wear a merkin in its place. They also have their place in fetishes (nothing wrong with that!) You might decide to get a pink neon merkin to surprise your lover. But should we ever be in the throes of passion and you decide to say the word “merkin” aloud to me, you can expect that my body will be quaking in laughter, I’ll be crying funny tears and you may need to just leave me there, rolling about, spasming. It may be hours before I can regain my composure. And don’t be surprised if, when we’re going at it later, the memory of the word trickles down into my belly and I start shaking in laughter again. Don’t say you haven’t been warned, although if you’re inside me during one of these episodes it might be an interesting – and not unpleasurable- experience for you to feel what my vaginal muscles are doing as I giggle.

My Do Through the Years

Throughout the decades, I’ve maintained my muff in different ways. The 80s was, of course, still all about the natural bush. Hell, I was a teen and didn’t know any better! Nobody ever seemed to have an issue with my hair down there, and I’m “ethnic” so my own perception is that it was really thick and foresty. However, a fabulous time was still had by all. It never affected anyone’s desire to tap that and I never had any issue being stimulated properly. It was what it was in the 20th Century, and it was good. Mmmm!

As I got into my later 20s and a different decade, I became more aware that people did different things with their genital hair-dos. It was becoming more popular to “landscape.” For several years, from the late 90s and into the 2000s, I kept it very neatly trimmed – almost like a crew cut. I did notice, truth be told, that I felt fresher and there was better access to my pleasure button. On the other hand, keeping it trimmed can be a tricky balance. You want it neat, but at the same time, you don’t want it spiky and rough. I found it a bit difficult to find the balance and was occasionally self-conscious and worried about injuring my partners’ delicate bits with my bits. Oye!

In my late 30s, I made a major life-altering bush decision: I went for laser hair removal treatment. If any of you have gone through this process, then you know that you must shave really well and totally any place that you’re having lasered. I decided to do an experiment. When the time came for the nice, re-assuring technician to address my bikini area, I told her to laser the whole enchilada! My logic was not that I wanted to be bald permanently, but that the hair would grow back finer. Of course, when you get the treatment, you are bald there at first. It was during one of these bald phases that I was with a certain lover for the first time. I was a little self-conscious about introducing my pussy to someone this way.

He was intrigued. He said that I had “delightful labia” (it still makes my heart melt to think of it). He told me that he’d never been with a bald girl before, but that it did make access for cunnilingus a bit easier. As time wore on, however, he promised me that his preference was not for hairless and that when he came to see me next (we were long distance), he wanted me to be in my natural state – ethnic bush and all. He was so adamant about it that he teasingly threatened to go right home if he found me in a bald state upon his arrival!

What I found slightly alarming post laser treatment was that when the hair began to initially grow back (by the way, if you’re not familiar with laser hair removal, it takes several treatments to make hair disappear completely), it was growing back in a patchy way. I began to be frightened that my pussy was going to be permanently patchy! That was not the case, however. I’ve since had my whole enchilada (or is it taco?) done a few times and it does keep growing back, but my original hypothesis turned out to be accurate – it just grows back thinner and more sparse. Definitely more manageable and soft for anyone who needs access (including me).

In the end, just like penises and vaginas, we’re all unique. When it comes to how we prefer our pubes, we have a little more leeway since we don’t need to seek out surgery to modify our hair. So, Lovers – both the men and the women out there – what do you do with your do? How do you like your partner’s pubes organized? Let us know.



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