So, am I the only freak who finds all these luscious summer fruits incredibly sexy and sensual? Don’t get me wrong- I don’t want to fuck the fruit or anything- but the sweet nectars, the supple flesh, the sticky drippings… well, they’re rather suggestive. At least to a horny person like me.
Even as a teenager, shaking my phat booty up on the under-21 club’s platform – decked out in spike heels, mini skirt and belly-baring top – I would conjure fruity fantasies when the DJ occasionally played Def Leppard’s 1987 anthem, “Pour Some Sugar on Me”.
I’m hot, sticky sweet
From head to my feet, yeah
I find most fruits sexy in their own ways, each resembling or suggesting bits of our male or female anatomies. My own “melons” are probably more like peaches. Two cherries dangling together make me think of having my head between your thighs, licking that delicious place along your “plums”. My pussy is like a ripe strawberry about to splash.
But my very favourite sexy fruit is the mango. Its sticky-licious scent, silky meat, constant fructose trickle and Vitamin B shot to the groin area (which is even referenced in a Season 5 episode of Seinfeld!) cause my mind to wander to fantasies of mango orgies.
Don’t be alarmed if you find me going medieval on a mango, its sticky-sweet juice dripping down my chin, my fingers digging into its slippery flesh and a look of rapture on my face. You might even walk over to me, having noticed that the copiously dripping juice of the luscious fruit had rendered my dress transparent. After you sucked the mango juice from my lips and tongue, you would slide off my dress and with sweet mango kisses induce a somewhat different look of rapture on my face, with my own sticky-sweet juice dripping down your chin, your fingers digging into my slippery flesh.
I think that Rosemary Clooney had it right in her 1951 version of “Come On-a My House”
Come on-a my house, my house, I’m gonna give a you
Apple a plum and apricot-a too eh
Come on-a my house, my house I’m gonna give a you
Figs and dates and grapes and cakes eh
Come on-a my house, my house, I’m gonna give you candy
Come on-a my house, my house, I’m gonna give you everything
Yes, my boy- everything. Enjoy your summer fruits. Savour them slowly and tear into them ravenously. Let all of your senses devour them. And think of some of the fun and sensual possibilities that could be employed with another…