Sex Wonks Podcast Episode 48: The Garden of Sensual Delight

The Wonks are free-balling it this week. There’s no plan and we’re just shootin’ the shit. First up, Rosa shares the shocking news that she and her man have yet to do the deed. That’s right, boys and girls – Rosa’s yet to have penis-in-vagina sex and fuck the new man that she’s been seeing for a couple of months. And while one might think that not fucking would be a let down, instead this isn’t true for our dear Ms. Sparks. As she approaches this relationship like George Costanza by “doing the opposite,” Rosa has discovered that the anticipation and sensual delights that are being shared are creating a deeper burn in her loins.

And speaking of sensual delights, Ed had an amazing moment with a random stranger he met on the internets over the weekend. Mr. Wood did a massage exchange with a gentleman he found through a web site devoted to the art of touch. Much to Mr. Wood’s surprise, the gentleman rocked his world when they spontaneously became the Scissoring Sisters.


ecw
ed.c.wood@sexwonks.com
www.sexwonks.com

Sex Wonks Podcast Episode 47: Titty Twister?

In this episode Rosa’s got her tits in a twist—in a good way mind you. Rosa’s new man is all into her boobies and can’t resist a grab at them at every opportunity. With all these PDAs going on, it begs the question.. when are he and Rosa going to have sex on a bus or a train?

Gordon Gecko goes down, but not for the count. Michael Douglas has recently revealed that he had throat cancer that is result of oral sex. After complaining of symptoms for nine months and doctors not finding anything, he was finally diagnosed with stage four cancer, treated with chemotherapy and has been cancer free for two years. Live strong Mr. Douglas.

Who knew? Rotten eggs are an aphrodisiac. Well, not exactly. However, the Hydrogen Sulphide gas (which smells like rotten eggs) emitted by Italy’s Solfatara volcano in Naples is proving to be natural viagra for men there who suffer from erectile dysfunction. A drive-through site has been set up with ‘sex booths’ – in the shadow of the volcano – so couples who need a little boost can harness the power of the crater’s gas. However, if you make a visit to this hot spot, don’t get too carried away and lose track of time – because Hydrogen Sulphide, while it may help men get it up, can also prove to be toxic when inhaled in large quantities.

Making love out of nothing at all? Au contraire! It’s an art form, which is being documented in a future independent film about the Air Sex World Championships. And what are the Air Sex World Championships? Basically just what it sounds like –  a contest of pantomimed acts (similar to playing the air guitar), but involving totally different kinds of instruments and subject matter for that matter. The film’s production company is raising funds through a Kickstarter campaign. And if you act fast enough with your pledge, you have a chance to be a judge at one of the scheduled competitions. To make a pledge find the Kickstarter campaign here.

Are you going to attend the stoning? Apparently folks in Pueblo, Colorado did. Residents there, angry that police had not warned them about sex assaults of local children, took matters into their own hands. They chased down a man they thought was the attacker, pelted him with rocks and left him with a bloody face before the authorities intervened. The 54-year-old man accosted by the mob (who was later released due to lack of evidence) decided not to file charges against his pursuers and told the police chief, “Folks were reacting to a bad situation and I don’t want to go that route.” Why is there never a crucified martyr around when you need him?


ecw
ed.c.wood@sexwonks.com
www.sexwonks.com

Sex Wonks Podcast Episode 46: Bad Sex!

Once again Ed is on his own. Rosa’s gone MIA for yet another episode.

At the top this episode Ed confesses that he’s become a fan of HBO’s Girls. Also, he shares his thoughts about the HBO movie Behind the Candelabra.

Got sex? Is it good? Ed has found some stories via The Huffington Post and The Smoking Gun of folks who are having some, ummm, rather bad sex.


ecw
ed.c.wood@sexwonks.com
www.sexwonks.com

Sex Wonks Podcast Episode 45: Don’t Be a Dick – Take 2

The Wonks are back! Did you guys even notice that we were gone? While she was away, Rosa got herself a delivery from the cock truck. And while Rosa’s not yet fucked the man connected to the cock, she’s been getting some mighty kick-ass orgasms nonetheless.

First up in the main segment this week is a story from the UK and a whole lot of kray kray that happened on a commuter train between from Newcastle to Carlisle. Apparently a drunken group of mates decided to roll their own porn as the train rolled along – all to the horror of their fellow passengers.

And speaking of public sex, it might be best that you’re careful where you free your willie, as one gentleman discovered whilst receiving a hand job in Manchester. Much to his surprise – and the young woman who provided said wank – they were caught by a Google Street View car.

Okay, you’ve been warned: Don’t be a dick! Because Ralph Polnicky learned that lesson the hard way. Because if you are a dick, you might just be terrorized with a sex toy!


ecw
ed.c.wood@sexwonks.com
www.sexwonks.com

Sex Wonks Podcast Episode 44: Alone Again!

Ed is happy to report that our dear Ms. Sparks is alive and well. It appears she’s lured her latest boy toy to her love lair and as a result has barely left the bed for several days. And while the desire and  passion of her lover’s kisses burned, shortly thereafter she found her ass on fire with work deadlines and is once again unable to record the podcast. So this week for a second time–you our 20 regular listeners will have some quality time alone with Ed.

It’s ironic that Ed is going solo again this week as he’s discovered that May is National Masturbation Month (NMM). That’s right Wonkers (or is that Wankers?), there’s a whole month devoted to choking the chicken and slapping the crack. Who knew?

As a way to celebrate, NMM Ed has put together a couple of masturbatory top ten lists. The first is a top ten list of songs about self-pleasure. And the second list is a top ten list of cinematic moments relating to banging the bishop. What’s your favorite?

Hope each of you are the master of your domain!


ecw
ed.c.wood@sexwonks.com
www.sexwonks.com

Sex Wonks Podcast Episode 43: 50 Shades of True Blood

Ask not for whom Ed Wood ummms – he ummms for thee. This week Rosa has apparently gone missing in action. So all of you lovely listeners (all twenty of you) get some quality alone time with Ed this week. Lucky you!

Ed was recently suckered into upgrading his service through his internet provider. As part of upgrading his service he now has HBO. So he’s started watching True Blood. During his marathon viewing session on Saturday, he discovered several similarities between the Sookie Stackhouse mysteries and the Fifty Shades of Grey series by E.L. James.

Bark baby bark! Ed has found a rather disturbing story about a gentleman’s rather, ummm, unusual method of soliciting sex from his neighbor. Got hand? Rafe Biggs, a smoking hot quadriplegic from Oakland, has discovered that his brain has re-wired itself in a most curious manner. Who would Buddha do? Apparently, he’d do a temple fundraising professional in a North Chelmsford, Massachusetts temple who is the subject of a sex tape secretly produced there. That’s so gay. No really, it is. And what is it? My Best Gay Friends – an independently produced sitcom in Vietnam. Disney rolls out the precogs! How long will it be before you are added to Disney’s no fly list? And finally – want better sex? Become a fan of titanium!

Talk to you guys next week!


ecw
ed.c.wood@sexwonks.com
www.sexwonks.com

Sex Wonks Podcast Episode 42: Sex Ed Gone Wrong

The Wonks are back! And while they had a good time on their break, regretfully the cock truck didn’t make a delivery. However, it looks like Rosa may have a delivery scheduled soon. But, and there’s always a big but (or BUTT in Rosa’s case!), Rosa’s potential cock  may have a little re-learning to do with regard to making his moves. And who better to school the man, than Ms. Sparks herself – aka The Cock Whisperer.

Meanwhile, the Wonks have discovered an example of what not to do when it comes to teaching kids about the birds and the bees. Ed uncovered a video of a sex talk given by Pam Stenzle that can best be described as scary. Ms. Stenzle caused a bit of controversy recently during a similar talk she gave at a high school in Charleston, West Virginia. Student body President Katelyn Campbell, having had enough of the current culture of slut-shaming, refused to go to the mandatory assembly and filed a complaint with the ACLU.

As a result of Ms. Stenzle’s epic fail with her message, the Huffington Post solicited stories from their readers regarding their experiences with sex education which the Wonks share in the latter part of this week’s episode.

Thanks for sticking with us!


ecw
ed.c.wood@sexwonks.com
www.sexwonks.com
@HardEdCWood

Sex Wonks Podcast Episode 41: Wonks Gone Wild?

Love is in the air everywhere we look around. Love is in the air, every sight and every sound! What is the sound the Wonks hope to hear over the next couple of weeks? They hope to hear the beep, beep, beep of the delivery truck backin’ up with an ass-load of cock to drop on their doorstep.

At the top of the episode, Ed shares that he’s feeling a wee bit nervous about his virtual boyfriend’s impending first in-person visit. Rosa pulls out her best Pat Benatar and says hit it with your best shot. Meanwhile, Rosa’s feeling grateful that her latest virtual fling is only 60 miles away rather than 6,000 miles away.

The killer bees have attacked again – but this time in a good way! Scientists from the Washington University (WU) School of Medicine in St. Louis, Missouri, identified the presence of a compound known as melittin that they say exhibits powerful anti-HIV effects. The bee venom toxin was visibly observed to destroy the viral components of HIV while leaving healthy cells unharmed. Let’s learn to love those killer bees and pet them!

Paris is burning? Apparently not for those who are perceived as disabled. This question came up recently after an official near Paris called for allowing sex assistants as part of publicly funded social services to offer “aid” to those, he said, who were least able to “discover their sexuality and their bodies.” The Socialist politician, Jerome Guedj, offered the most contentious proposal Monday, just ahead of the vote in the local council, removing the term “sex surrogates” after coming under criticism for opening the door to legalized prostitution. Sexual repression in FRANCE? Really?

To hook up or not to hook up? – that is the question. Is it nobler to keep it in your pants or to suffer the slings and arrows of shame and ambivalence about hooking up? In her new book, The End of Sex: How Hookup Culture Is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Intimacy, Donna Freitas has discovered that perhaps hooking up has become passé on college campuses. It seems when students are expected to hook up with lots of people, doing so becomes dutiful, not daring. Older ideas of sexual exploration — be it same-sex encounters or one-night stands — have become a basic expectation. So maybe good old fashioned dating and romance (without sex) is the new normal?


ecw
ed.c.wood@sexwonks.com
www.sexwonks.com
@HardEdCWood

 

Sex Wonks Podcast Episode 40: Deep Throat Dahling

Do you deep throat? The Wonks do and this week they celebrate all that’s about going Linda Lovelace on it. First up, the Wonks pay their respect to one of the two porn stars who made ‘deep throat’ a household word—Mr. Harry Reems. While he was neither Johnny the Wadd nor a sonic hedgehog, Mr. Reems, in his own way, left an indelible mark in the annals of porn history.

Believe it or not, sex can kill. From New York, a disturbing story of bacterial meningitis that appears to be spreading through sexual encounters between men. The outbreak has sickened 22 and killed seven. According to Dr. Thomas Farley, the best defense is to get vaccinated. And it’s not only meningitis that can prove to be sexually fatal; Rosa discovers an article on christwire.org claiming that oral sex is a deadly sin—literally. Tell us it’s not true!

According to Tennessee state senator, Stacey Campfield, “Perversity does not make diversity just because it’s at the university,” and as a result the fundies in the Tennessee state legislature have pressured the administrators of UT to cut funding for the planned Sex Week scheduled for the first week in April. Sex Week has become a tradition at many universities, including the Ivy League’s Yale, Harvard and Brown. But better get your Sex Week while you can kids, as it appears they may be on their way out. Yale this year held a shortened version of theirs – a Sex Weekend – perhaps due to bad publicity.

A vocal coach in Canada has discovered a new kind of deep throat. He’s using sex toys to assist his student in increasing their vocal power. University of Alberta drama professor David Ley uses hand-held vibrators to massage the throats of students. “What I’m trying to do is to help the person hit that high note or harness their emotional energy,” he told the Toronto Star. This gives new meaning to ‘rubbing one out’ – does it not?

Live by the tweet, die by the tweet? Adria Richards had no idea the firestorm she would create when she tweeted about the inappropriate behavior of fellow attendees of a tech conference. Ms. Richards received threats of violence and was fired after posting an image of male programmers she accused of making inappropriate innuendos at the conference they were attending. Her experience begs the question: When is too much far too much? And how far does one want to take it to make a point?


ecw
ed.c.wood@sexwonks.com
www.sexwonks.com
@HardEdCWood

Sex Wonks Podcast Episode 39: Sign O’ The Times

Can you feel the thaw? Spring is here and the Wonks are ready to frolic – so come play with us! While Rosa’s got a glimmer of hope for…well, you know… Ed’s got to ask “real or not real?” as he shares about his latest virtual boyfriend, an 18-year-old man-child he met on Craigslist.

Where’s the love? The Wonks have discovered that the mainstream cinema sex scene is going the way of the Velociraptor. Why? Because while the current marketing trend in movies is toward horny teenaged boys, ironically the MPAA keeps Hollywood from showing them too much T ‘n’ A – the emphasis is on a different kind of explosion.

Danger Will Robinson! The Wonks have discovered that there may be no such thing as safe sex in space. Recent experiments by Montreal University on plants show that changes in gravity damages cells – and could lead to life-threatening illnesses. If Virgin Galactic is successful and starts flying tourists to suborbital space next year as they hope, let’s hope they provide complimentary condoms with each ticket sold.

Get some wood to save some wood. How, you ask? Ed has found a film created by Polish filmmaker Michal Marczak, that chronicles the Berlin-based organization Fuck for Forest—a raggedy group of hippies dressed like the Lost Boys who film and then sell homemade pornography of themselves and others in an effort to help save the rainforests. This sounds like an eco-movement we could get behind—both figuratively and literally.

The Wonks believe that penises are a part of the new pharma! Why? Because the FDA has recently approved an over-the-counter topical spray to treat premature ejaculation. Can you say tardy to the party? Such creams and sprays have long been available from manufacturers of creams and lubes. So, what’s the point?


ecw
ed.c.wood@sexwonks.com
www.sexwonks.com
@HardEdCWood